Birthday

So yesterday was my birthday. I am 25. Thus, I have had 25 birthdays. And I cannot remember one stranger than yesterday's.

I don't make a big deal out of birthday's. I ain't special, so the less fanfare, the better. The only nice thing about a birthday is hearing from people and realizing you matter to them - and even that didn't happen yesterday. But here again, it's not that big of a deal, just a mild disappointment.

The whole of the day was just a series of disasters. Apparently my grandfather had chest pains during his morning walk, so he drove himself to the hospital. And even better, he decided not to tell his kids. I found out when my grandmother called to tell me happy birthday - and being the talkative worrywart that she is, she told me all about it. That placed me in the awkward position of having to let other people know that their father was in the hospital and he hadn't felt the need to tell them. I eventually decided to pawn that task off on my mom. I called her with the news and probably ruined her day, and let her tell her siblings.

Then I ate some questionable food for lunch and got the squirts for the rest of the day. I went to all my classes with a glazed over expression, and was so tired by the end of the day that I fell climbing the stairs. And my computer crashed as I attempted to load some music on it.

But I did get some homemade rice krispy treats from a friend.

However, the moral of this story is: thank God birthday's only come once a year, or I'm not sure I could live through them.

Hip Yip Skooray

Gongs, Cymbals

A gently resounding chaos
Enigmatic and contained in tense
Allowed yet unforsaken
Forgotten in the perfect sense
Of a sound both quiet and loud
A fire both white and cold
A surge now unabandoned
Future stilled, foretold.
Whisper with an echo
The blinding dark of sight
A flame with eyes eternal
Consumed but never sold
And never growing old.
With a spark across a smile
Yet commanding all the while.
Consuming fully in the whole
Yet no ash corrupts the gaze
No scar diverts the blaze
From sustaining its reprise.
Caressing with a bend and sway
Yet lashing and unleashed
Duty, punishment, warring peace,
I saw the voice of God today.

Jacob, Joseph Squared

Entrapped by gloom,
Else bewitched by rapture
Another mile escapes
To the clicking of my tires
The flipping of my shoes
Against the grating on my nerves.
Another mile disappears
In the race to reconcile
Echoes of faded glory
With the consistent urge to forget
Some fools cry repent
But I will not give up this chase
To remember to forget your face.
Why'd you have to throw yourself away?
All you did was throw me away.