Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Just stream of consciousness purging


An Increase in Brevity


And I’m suddenly struck by the truth
That this is all, this is it
As good as it gets
Analyze that for a while
Take the faith of a child
Add a dash of the wild
Sensationalism of proof
Distill sensibly with disbelief
Gargle and spit then rinse for relief
And never imbibe it again.
Childhood should always come to an end
Though the ending is always too soon
Though in the end, there was no more room
In the inn, for an ending to begin, if it’s true.
Or perhaps that’s part of childhood too
Boys become men, or at least in stories they do
In real life, we’re more Peter Pan than we think
Except we never believed, save when we drink,
Anything at all.
We grew big, bigger at least, and sometimes grew tall
At other times we simply grew fat
From being precocious to being a brat
To be thrown on the grill of the gods
For summertime amusement.
We fight to save dignity, fight to save face
All the while pestering, forgetting our place
As fat in the fire
As lust to desire
To make the all-seeing eyes burn
A cog in the wheel that makes the world turn
A wanderer sent here to learn
How to turn it all off.

We’re festering
Sequestering ourselves in groups
In troops of unequal numbers
Yet similar tasks
Men without masks
For we have no true faces
Step apart at ten paces
Turn, jagged parts in their places
And smooth edges have graced us
With these.
A minute of temple and freeze
A second of stillness and breeze
A time of silence and peace
As we bring the world to it’s knees.

Feted, dank and sewered
Pendulant until skewered
On the tip of a bet
On the end of a net
Without a safety for comfort
Without a face to contort
We bribe and we bluff
But it’s never enough
Till we wager the skin off our souls
And down at the flop
We gamble our top
To keep our pants at the turn
And hope is still spurned
As with a prayer to the giver
We look to the river.
And hope to build a dam.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Random thoughts from the ER

Cut the Deck


So this is how it feels to grow
Or better yet to groan
Alone, unholy scared
As though the gods have pared
Us down to basic shares
Spliced together in random pairs
Fear and hope, faith and fear
Always lurking near
Always standing here
Forever on the cusp
Of almost growing up
Or throwing up
Or laying down
And taking pound for pound
Whatever doubt is dealing out
Fake a smile to hide a pout
I thought this would be easy
I thought this would be hard
Who knew that the reasons
Could ever be so charged
That no argument could hold them
We built a house of cards.

Friday, July 13, 2012

3 for 3!


Heads or Tails


Pinwheeling in the happenstance
A flick, a turn, a timeless dance
A picture and a phrase
A quickly endless haze
Broken, raised, shattered, razed
Two decisions met
A handshake and a bet
A probability decided
And everything is one-sided
Unless it coincided
With another.
A war won on a toss
A lifetime at a loss
A gamble at a glance,
A game of patterned chance
An infinity decided
An eternity divided
On the derision of a split
Where thumbnail on the copper hits
If futures could be bought
Flipped, turned, and caught.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Bit o' Silliness


Ferris Wheel


Up but mostly down
Always spinning ‘round
Sometimes barely hanging on
Swinging back and forth
Often in delight, equally in terror
Always moving south to north
And back except for error
Sometimes stranded
Sometimes stopped
Sometimes lifetimes at the top
Otherwise sick on my shoes
Popcorn and cuddles,
Coca-cola puddles
And the smell of ecstasy, fear
And stale beer.
Hits and misses, hugs and kisses
Mister and Miss become
Mister and Misses
And the circle still goes on.
Sitting in streetlights
Staring at twilight
Watching the starlight turn dawn
Hearing my heartbeat turned on
Hoping I never get down and go home.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I'm frequently foolish


Barstools

Everyone else has their desert wand’rings
Their times in their wilderness space
But I went a-walking through heav’n
And then a-running out of that place
Everything was simply too perfect
Everything was too perfectly fake
Everyone was there handing out answers
While I was there looking for grace.
Hell looks a lot like a bedroom
While heav’n looks more like a bar
Meeting and mingling poorly
Oh and what a fine pair they are.
Decisions of glorious intentions
Leading forth to bedroom affairs
Which turns to drowning on barstools
When truth finds mysterious hairs.
Angels were dealing security
There is no cashing out of this game
Once you’re sat at the table
Your seat's always sat there, just the same.
Waitresses whisper “Take comfort”
Once saved for all time they proclaim
But why would any action then matter
If you can only play a rigged frame?
So when proof knelt off’ring marriage
I proudly accepted his name
Only to wake alone in my folly
Realizing grace had offered the same.