"We're Still Building, Then Burning Down Love"

Monuments of My Disbelief


Zealots find uneasy sleep
(Always looking to the sky)
Yearning for a deeper keep
(Believing they'll finally fly)
Xenophobia begins
(Constantly questioning why)
Whistling suddenly ends
(Dry lips are too cracked to try)
Variations in movement
(Exercises in patience)
Unwilling delusions spent
(Feinting and fainting at hints)
Tapping our feet on the floor
(Glancing in panic for mints)
Stilling the nerves from before
(Holding our breath too intense)
Raiding our psyche for more . . .
(Incense and burning our prayers)
Quiet, comes the opening door
(Jumping and putting on airs)
Penance is marching to war
(Keeping my heart in my chest)
Oh, all the things I've ignored!
(Living each gasp from my breast)
Nobody spoke of the still
(Maybe . . . who am I kidding)
Maybe there's grace for the ill
(Never been much for bidding . . .)
Life for the pantomimed man
(On dreams or dreaming before)
Kangaroo pulses, I stand
(Posited 'bout distant shores)
Jerking my face from my feet
(Quibbled about petty scores)
I wonder where abstracts meet
(Ransacked belief at the door)
Hoping God hears my entreat
(Separate monologues meet)
Gathering strength for retreat
(Two steps till checkmate, I'm beat)
Fighting the urge to throw up
(Unsure if I've said enough)
Every second screaming
(Veering, crashing, careening)
Dry eyes dampened, now streaming
(Wish I'd been more than seeming)
Cracked lips undertake treason
(Xylophones pound in my head)
Before hope rallies reason . . .
(Yellow erects it's new bed)
And I refuse to fear death
(Zealously choosing each breath).

Panic Attacks are not fun

Handcuffs

Once a wallflower,
Always a tourniquet
To be used and cast away
And dashed away
(Dash away, dash away all)
The descent into madness
Is ever near awake
Forever never far away
All but almost dashed away
But never dashed away all.
To spend my life
In a little white room
With all the other stray puppets
Ripped off and tossed away
Dot dot dashed away
But no one listens anymore
So why dash away at all?
And the red coat in a closet
The white coats hold my arms
A white jacket, a white wall
White eyes and white cheeks
Hands clenching absent reason
Till just a flower on a wall
A white pattern in white halls
They dashed away it all
Taken all I had to give
Dashed, dashed, dashed it all away
I slowly fade away.

Circles

Solipsism

A light face in dark places
Slowly mixed, perhaps stirred
Never shaken
Into a dark shape in white spaces
A cacophony of chaos.
Bright eyes and no paces
Small strides and sad faces
Short times and shoe laces
Wet eyes but no traces
Linger past last embraces.
Pain moves in sharp races
Randomly firing synaptic braces
Collapse into a chaos of races
Signals burning time.
Quick turns and slow gazes
Swift falls in these mazes
Seasons change but small graces
Save us most of all.
Scrambled and life hazes
Tremble while star-grazing
Imagine life without hating
Stall within the white spacings.
Thump, pause, try erasing
Mistakes made, others pacing
One charge, final statings
Last call, all chasing vibratings
A line still, a heart crashes
Burn once, scatter ashes.
A dark place, candles, matches
A soft gaze through eyelashes
Joined once, with hopes clashing
A dark place, a heart crashing
Into being.