Infinitives

Conjunctions

And so they placed rocks . . .

Built as reminders of mercy
of gratitude for the gift of turmoil,
As we become who we were
at our moments of birth
naive children of unbridled promise
with wings of unabashed hope.

Unaware that the intentions of pain
will carry the chorus.
And the parts we will play
Will be loud and off-key
understated and reviled
overstated and overplayed
and sometimes poorly drawn
To make an unnecessary point.

Unaware that the story will move without us
Breathed by another tongue
With lines from another's hymn
At the moment of triumph . . .

And that someday we will pause
Between the interstates and the fields
And build an altar of faith
With the cinders of grace in the grass.

In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle, oh, nevermind, that's just my roommate snoring

Dumpster Prayers


We stand on the subtle edge of a knife
. . . but haven't we always?
One mistake from achievement
One success from fiction's endings
And we number the days
As notches in our belt, serving little
Growing bitter, meaning nothing more
Than a piece to bear the weight of time
As it passes like a mime
Silently, with frantic motions of fury.
Oh surreptitious knife
Cleaving spirit and leaving the strife
Of our years of theatric pretending . . .
Am I a soul shipwrecked in skin,
Or a fully autonomous being of dearth
Of purpose, meandering worth,
A journeyman of starlight
Longing for the sun?

Frustrated

For the first time in my life, I'm doing things right.

I'm going to church "religiously" - to make a bad pun. But seriously, I've found a church I really enjoy and I'm going every week.

I'm doing my homework as it is assigned, rather than as it is due or after it is due. My Greek homework is always done by Saturday night despite not being due until Tuesday. I take my quizzes the first day they are made available instead of the last, which means I am up to date on all my quiz reading and study material.

I am completely neat and tidy. I find things to clean because I am so bored.

I'm not dating a sociopath. O course, I'm not dating anyone, but that's a step above my typical alternative.

I'm not turning down opportunities to be with friends, to be social, to get to know random people.

I'm eating lots and lots of salads and fruit - primarily because our cafeteria food would kill a whale.

And I feel worse than I have ever felt in my life. My body hurts constantly. My ribs burn, my stomach hurts and bleeds, my chest, shoulders and knees ache constantly. I've had multiple kidney stones and I seem to randomly run a fever every other week.

Yet when I ate primarily pizza, never went to church, never did my work, was completely anti-social and dating a sociopath, I felt great.

Is this the lesson? That when we get our lives together, we die? Why do I always feel like hell?

I am frustrated.