Satirical Evidence

Grumbles

I told you I was lost
And a light shone up ahead
A blaze that filled my soul with dread
And I knew you had not heard
So I turned without a word
And walked the other way.
I told you I was scared
When suddenly winds came howling
The winds they came growling round my sides
And I knew you thought I'd lied
And had left me on my own.
I told you I was hurt
And healing waters sprang around me
Rushing flood waters quickly found me
And took me far from help
And I knew I was by myself.
I pleaded I was hungry
When birds came flocking near
When birds came pecking near
And I was filled with fear
I knew I had complained too much.
I told you I couldn't find you
And a shove came on my back
A wind came moaning it's attack
A fire blocked all the pathways back
Rivers came and pushed me on my way
And birds sang of the coming day
And I held my head and sighed
Said, "I'm still not sure which way to go
And I wish you would stop mumbling so."

2 ways to lose yourself

amnesia

blue
on blue
on white
hue
upon hue
upon sight
rings
upon rings
upon light
concentric circles
spinning
and grinning
spark with delight
i see
my own face
know it not
i see
to your soul
mine forgot
your eyes
hold the whole
of the world
i'm
just a boy
seeing girl
universes
dance and tremble
and collide
for i
can count stars
through your eyes.


Stocks

How can I be forgiven
When your blood still stains my clothes?
When your face still haunts my vision
And your eyes stare through my soul?
How can I e'er be shriven
When I remain the one to blame
When I cannot shake this shame
When I cannot forget the same?
How can I have I name?
How can I have a name
When I don't know my own mind
When I've forsaken you for my own kind
As I'm drifting through this paradigm
How can I have a name?
How can I claim I saw your face
When I know I'm still the same,
When I still play this dang'rous game
And make blasphemy my claim?
How can I be named
If I cannot face my faults
If I'm too afraid to bare my path
With it's stutterings and halts?
How can a wayward soul be tamed?
And how can I ever be forgiven
If I cannot be named?

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, the English language would make less sense than ever

If

I am not who I should be
Who I could be
Who I would be
If I'd ever give myself a chance.
I'm not who I thought I'd be
Who I ought to be
Who I was always taught to be
Though perhaps that one's not so bad.
I still believe in destiny
That the best of me
The rest we need
Lies somewhere up ahead,
If only the life I lead
The path I knead
The words and deeds
I make will let me find it.
I live most days to hurt me
Beg others to desert me
If I only would not curtly
Dismiss everything but my pride.
Most days I doubt myself
I tout myself
I out myself
As a hypocrite of the first order.
I'm paralyzed the rest of times
This nest of grimes
The best of crimes
Is this inertia made of guilt,
It robs me of myself
I'm somewhere on a shelf
I've locked myself in hell, if
I could only find the key.
Will I ever see the rest of me?
Have someone to lie next to me?
Believe that I can be made free
From this incaptivity that captivates me still?

Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?

Kludge

I'm broken, I'm bleeding
This violent conceding
That I am but a glitch in the code
A streaming infarction so old
I'm accepted as part of the plan
I've accepted that's all that I am
A one with the lights turned out
A zero backwards, flipped round about
But a zero nonetheless, just the same
I'm supposed to be glad that you came
But I'll blink on or not either way
I'll flick, I'll flick flicker away
Until one day I'll flicker no more
I'll drift off to that endless shore
Where I'll cease to exist
Still hanging about, forever un-fixed
Just too warm and worn down
Just wait, wait, waiting around
Till I'm returned to the sand . . .
Or stuck in a reef with a can
Floating between the remains of the seen
As all that we are remains stuck between
The glitch, the code and the core
The drill, the bit and the bore
The screen, the glass and the door
What we are, who we've been, something more.
Just a zero that fell to the floor
And the line streamed on anyway.

"Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck, some nights I call it a draw" ~ fun

Damocles

I'm a cube in a world of spheres
Wondering why I'm even here
A typo from the hand of fate
A tragedy that came too late
To e'er be put to rights.
Lock the door, turn off the lights
My reflection keeps me up nights
I'm insurrection in a cape and tights
Against everything that once was good
An arsonist with wet firewood
I cannot spark myself to change
Back to beam, move down the range
Position set, now aim and fire
Or strap me to a funeral pyre
For every wrong I've ever done
Add another bullet to the gun.
Alone, alone, always alone
And even God forgot to phone
For I'm not fit for service
Nor suited for a single purpose
Save this, to be mine own disease
The hanging blade of Damocles
How I wish that it would fall
That Death would finally come to call
I brought forgiveness to it's knees
Beneath the blade of Damocles
And I begged it not to fall
Though I surely knew it would
For I was never made for good
And I wish I was not made at all.

Current

The lights stay on, they always are, no current breaks, no shades to draw,
just running, running, 1's and 0's,
visions, villains, ghosts and heroes,
Information banks and swirls,
filling corners of the world,
With options, possibles, and maybe's,
the information highway is lost in me,
I scramble, grasp and flit about,
Sorting all the stories out,
Gasping, groaning, in a frenzy,
Frothing, foaming, too fast to see,
The lines are drawn, the plots unfold, there's life, you see,
living, breathing, inside me.

The Flick, The Drop, The Squeeze

He's here again, I feel the breeze,as my heart's engulfed with his disease.

The tendrils loop, they weave and tighten, I am caught.

Now comes the squeeze...bastard embrace, bile rising, I have no space. I'm lifted up, the light flickers and dies, and I'm replaced with truth.

I see my fate with cold resolve, all blackness, no blue,
And now I see paths to end it too.
A flick, a drop, a squeeze will do, If only I will see it through.

We dance and sway, one as one, in and out, we move with ease.
But always still....I ponder the flick, the drop, the squeeze.

The fire is low, all is ash, and all could end within a flash.
But he grows tired, and down I slide,
his sneering all that's left to reside,
Inside my mind, my heart, my being.

I push up, and walk for air, holding railing for support,
Collapsing soon, my walk is short,
For ever whispering on the breeze:
The flick, the drop, the squeeze.

Title

Shriving

When I am lost I beg

Whisper you've found me

Even if you cant yet

See right where I am.

When I am blind

Say you’ll surround me

Protecting me most

From what I already am.

When I am deaf

Hold me and hold me

And keep holding me still

When I’m whole again.

When I would die

Say you’ll die with me

Over and over

Until time should end

If only I’ll wait

For just one more moment

And witness the miracle

Of another begin.

When I am drowning

Come and drown with me

Come and breathe love

Deep into my lungs

Tell me my final chorus is empty

There’s one more line

That has yet to be sung.

Tell me this story

Doesn't end with my failures

That my sins don’t keep my angels at bay

That I won’t always be afraid

Of the actions I’m taking

Of the man I've become

From ashes and clay.

Tell me I’m worthy

When I think you’re lying

And tell me again

When I think you’re insane.

Help me forgive

Myself my unmaking

And hold me tight till

The shaking will end.

I’m lost and alone

God I’m so far from home

Not in place

But in peace in my heart.

Hold me strong

Hold me fast

Hold me right to the last

And carry me through

Everything I have torn.

Don't let go, Don't let go

Come even crownings of thorns

Just carry me, carry me

To every new morn.